Saturday, June 8, 2013

chop

Aw dang you guys will NOT BELIEVE THIS. We have gotten our fur totes chopped off and now we are pink and naked. Naked as a jaybird, our mom tells us. She says, “Do not go outside for a long time without sunscreen, or you will get a sunburn” and we were like “it’ll turn into a tan, Mom” and she was like “that is not a real thing you dogs better listen.” She’s so annoying. Another prob is that we do not know which one of us is which. We had this issue previously, but now it is way more confusing because we are both skinny pink nightmares without any distinguishing fluff. Even our dad is a little worried that when our hair grows back they will realize that they’ve been calling us the wrong name, so Mom was like “DO NOT PLAY PARENT TRAP WITH US!” and we were like LINDSEY LOHAN LOLZ! 

So why did we have to get our fur sheared like silly dog sheep? BECAUSE our mom says she was a “bad dog mom” and did not know we needed to be groomed. We also have noticed that she is in the habit of ignoring her own hair, so we were not surprised when we also got unbelievable fluffy. And we did not really mind because it was waaaay cushy, but we were getting tired of looking like sk8r boys. AVRIL LOLZ!

Anyway, she took us to the groomer finally, and they were like WHOA WHOA THIS IS INSANE FLUFF we must get it all off! And Mom was like “oh no I’m sad, but do what needs to be done, and also can we make the fur into a sweater” and the groomer was like “no.” 

So the groomer chopped all of our Rapunzel locks off and we were like “oh no now we can’t sing and make our magical hair heal people” and our groomer was like “pipe down” and we were like “UGH WE HATE IT WHEN PEOPLE DON’T GET OUR JOKES!” When we came out of the groomer, our mom was like, “WUT who are these guys?” She didn’t even know it was us and neither did Aunt Adeline!! And we were like “GURL ITZ US! WE GOT SO SKINNY! BEST DIET EVS!” NO for realz we lost like 57 pounds of hair and our mom is jealous because she remains frizzy. Lay off, Mom!!!!!!!!!! 

We get to sit on the couch because we are skinny and our parents feel guilty! LOLZ!


Mom says she is proud of us because we were good at the groomer and never got embarrassed about our new buzz cut (probs because it is WAY COOL). Mom says our self esteem is waaaaay high even though we look as she says, “ridonkulous.” We do not know what “ridonkulous” means, but it sounds hilar and we are soooooo happy because we can SEE EVERYTHING!!! Thanks goodness we do not look like sk8r boys anymore! With our new bandanas from the groomer we are skinny hipsters! We like to listen to Mumford and Sons! KEWL! Mom was like “YUH but I can see your skin, so you look weird and pink” and we were like “IT’S SALMON YOU NEVER UNDERSTAND US GAHHHH” and she was like “ugh teenagers.” 

K WE G2G BYE!!! We hope you like our blog!!!!!

A close-up on Uzi's before and after

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