|Don't be like this Derby Pie.|
ANYWHO (Stick Stickly anyone?), Princess was sorting through some old documents on her computer, and came across a devotional she wrote for something-or-the-other, and instantly felt a little encouraged by the whole thing, and felt like she should share it, even though she's set this whole truffle-fluffy world up as a place to be ridiculous. But you know, sometimes, we don't need a post about how Princess can't stop pretending that bananas are phones (true) and just need to be encouraged. Sometimes life is hard, and people are mean, and often we are those mean people.
So here it is, an inspirational entry from a drama-drained peacemaker:
~“Mean girls never grow up,” my mother said to me with a sigh, frustrated with drama that had developed between women on her tennis team.
At thirteen, I was painfully aware of the damage girls can do to one another. The older I got, the more I realized my mother, as always, was right.
We’ve all seen it happen: The women in your church or Bible study or workplace are bonding and connecting, the birds are singing, and life is full of rainbows and sunshine. But then something happens. It may have been a misunderstanding or word of gossip—whatever it was, it destroyed something beautiful.
What can we do?
First, it’s important to know that there’s a difference between conflict and drama. Drama is turbulent, emotionally-driven, and typically stems from immaturity. (We’ve all seen an immature person become easily offended and tear the others apart over insignificant details.) Alternatively, conflict is a disagreement about something important.
We need to know how to deal with both in a way that honors the Lord. Otherwise, the unity we so desperately want has little chance of survival. Here’s how to deal:
- Prepare ahead of time with a daily quiet time to suit up for a day of battle (Ephesians 6:10-17).
- Memorize scripture to prepare your mind with a quick defense for unexpected drama. For example, when you feel the urge to gossip, remember, “Let no unwholesome talk come out of your mouth” (Ephesians 4:29). Or, when someone makes you feel judged or insecure, repeat, “The King is enthralled by your beauty” (Psalm 45:11).
- Pray continually. Send prayerful “texts” throughout the day and be open to how God may respond. Through communication, God is able to share his heart and make us wise (Proverbs 1:23). Additionally, you’ll be actively aware of God’s presence so you’re less likely to do or say something that goes against His nature. Remember, “It is mine to avenge; I will repay” (Deuteronomy 32:35).
- Decide whether or not you need to be involved. Is this an issue that will do damage to the Kingdom of God? Can you base your answer on scripture?
- If no: It’s just drama. Let it go. Be kind and loving, but don’t comment on it. Not every situation needs your input, even if the drama is directed at you. (2 Timothy 2:16). Furthermore, avoid divisive people! (Titus 3: 10-11).
- If yes: You’re got an actual conflict on your hands. Approach the situation with love (not revenge) and wisdom. We typically talk to everyone about our problems except the person who caused it. We all know how this goes—the problem only grows! Instead, speak directly with the person using the Biblical model for dealing with conflict in Matthew 18: “If you brother sins against you, go and show him his fault, just between the two of you. If he listens to you, you have won your brother over. But if he will not listen, take one or two others along, so that ‘every matter may be established by the testimony of two or three witnesses. If he refuses to listen to them, tell it to the church; and if he refuses to listen even to the church, treat him as you would a pagan or tax collector.”
Make it a habit to speak the truth in love (Ephesians 4:15) to the women in your life. Loving, truth-filled words sound like nails on a chalkboard to that wretched Drama Llama—he’ll have no choice but to leave.
Karen Kingsbury’s book A Moment of Weakness will force you to prayerfully consider the damaging nature of gossip and the importance of handling dramatic situations with godly maturity—I couldn’t put it down!
:::About the Writer:::
Caroline Saunders married into ministry in 2007 and after a few deep breaths, she learned to love it. She teaches writing, and is acutely aware that her real job is to help her students to know the Living Word. She has an unhealthy relationship with Diet Dr. Pepper, nail polish, and her planner, which you are not allowed to write in, ever.