Wednesday, January 30, 2013

things students say

 
Working with middle schoolers continues to be interesting. Princess submits her most recent edition of “Things Students Say” for your reading pleasure:
 
Disclaimer: At least one of these is actually from a 3 year old at the school where Princess was once an admissions person. Princess snuck these in to demonstrate the similarities between 3-year-old speak and 13-year-old speak…
  1. “I can’t stand the number 4. It makes me want to puke.”
  2. “The bugs are coming out of my posterior.”
  3. “STUPID I CAN’T FIND MY TUBA MOUTHPIECE.”
  4. Student: “Oh. I thought you said ‘blow fart.’” Princess: “Why would I ever say ‘blow fart’?” Student: “I don’t know.”
  5. “I want to say something funny enough to end up on your blog.”
  6. “How much does your hair weigh? It seems like it weighs a lot.”
  7. Student: “I meant to ask where you got your sweater yesterday because it looks like it’s from J. Crew and everyone says you look like a J. Crew model.” Princess: "WHAT OH MY GOSH I LOVE YOU THAT’S THE BEST THING EVER YOU ARE MY FAVORITE STUDENT my sweater is from JC Penney."
  8. “Who is Putin?”
  9. Student: “You have a degree in B.S. Journalism?” Princess: “Well, not exactly, but I see your point.”
  10. Student 1: “Rodents are mammals because they give birth to live young.”     Student 2: “And they produce milk!” Student 3: “So what? Everyone can do that.”

But teachers say weird stuff, too. (And sometimes they have weird blogs.)
  1. “STICK YOUR HEAD IN YOUR LOCKER AND SNIFF IT.”
  2. In an email: “Mason has silent lunch today for making ‘passing gas’ noises.”
  3. “I’m praying for a drowned llama.”
  4. “He looks like a sad sloth.”
  5. “She’s just the weirdest kid, bless her heart.”

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