Wednesday, November 28, 2012

dog days

Hello, it’s us again! The dogs! Our mom Princess was like, “Waaah I am tres uninspired and have nothing to blog about,” and we said, “Step aside, we got this.”

Anywayzzz we have been hilarious per usual. Princess has been trying to teach us to run up the stairs, and we are getting kind of better, but we are still so floppy that we fall down a lot. Sometimes Ebenezer gets stuck in the middle and has to be rescued. Also when we are upset we like to go “tweet tweet” instead of “ruff ruff” and it’s pretty cute, plus it will probably confuse Princess’ future human children when she’s trying to teach them animal noises. Kewl!

We also have been veeeery awesome and resourceful. See, that girl Princess had this vacuum that was totes scary. It was green and LOUD and she named it Mike Wazowski which is really dumb. We were like, sooo sick of Mike Wazowski, so we got extra dirty like 17 times (DIGGING FOR MOLES!!!), and mudded up every square inch we could. Then the floor required such a frequent cleaning that eventually Mike Wazowski was like, “Nope. I’m out.” Heehaw, best idea ever. (See? Sometimes we make different animal noises to being confusing/adorbs.) Look, we got so dirty that it looks like we lost 13 pounds! Best diet evs. Plus we got mud on the walls! Kewl!

Our dad is like SO MEAN and yells at us whenever we do something really cool like pee inside where it’s warm. He’s like “STOP DIGGING” and “GO OUTSIDE” and “DON’T EAT THAT SHOE,” and Uzi is like “YOU’RE NOT THE BOSS OF ME” and Ebenezer is like “I LOVE YOU SO MUCH!!!” He also bought us a camo dog bed, and we heard Princess tell him that it was ugly and uncool, and HELLO WE WANT TO BE COOL, so we gobbled it up. Then Princess gave us a high five, and we were like, “YEAH girl!!”

Here is us with our dad. We love him lots, so we may not gobble up his camo crocks like Mom asked. But we make no guarantees because we are dogs and dogs don't know how to do that.

Anywayz, come visit us if you want. We promise to be extra fluffy and we will probs try to bite your fingers, but we are working on not doing that anymore. LYLAS!

Thursday, November 15, 2012

self awareness

Do you ever have those days when you feel like you are suuuuper pretty and your outfit is sizzle sizzle, and then you walk by a mirror and you’re like, “It seems I was mistaken”? Princess has had a week of those days, but it’s not so much about her exterior as her interior. (Just so you know, this is not going to be about “inner beauty” because Princess finds those talks boooooooring.)

Princess is having a personality crisis. It began when she wrote her blog post about recent embarrassing moments. This was a startling one for Princess because the post officially contains no exaggeration. When she started writing this idiot blog, she intended for it to be an outlet/exaggeration of her life because being over-the-top makes Princess heehaw. But THEN it’s like Princess BECAME the exaggeration, and now she’s like “WHAAAT IS HAPPENINGGGG (in Kristen Wiig voice)!?!?”

She was talking to her notoriously ridiculous siblings—Wittiest, Class of 09 (a.k.a. weird) and Most Likely to be Remembered, Class of 07 (a.k.a. weirder)—and they were like “Now you’re the weirdest.” And Princess (also known as Classiest, Class of 04) was like “WHEN DID THAT HAPPEN I’M SUPPOSED TO BE CLASSY,” and they said, “No.”

So Princess took a long, hard look in the mirror.

Then she went to the Justin Bieber concert. (Noooo that IS NOT a homemade Biebs t-shirt with glitter and puff paint and a purple fabric heart. You must be confused.)
And became besties with twin Franks.

And bought a ceramic hand.

And realized she puts paper clips in her hair in the middle of tough grading days AND that she can hardly ever get them out.

And now she keeps hearing from people that reminds them of this girl:

Princess tried to deny it, but in truth this ridiculousness is remniscent of several videos that Princess' evil sister is currently holding hostage and plotting to release when Princess' embarrassment will be at its peak.

RIP, Classy Caroline. RIP.