Monday, October 15, 2012

dummy


YOU GUYS.

Today Princess thought she was returning an email from her husband, and she began with the phrase “Noooooo dummy” because the email made no sense. As it turns out, the original email WAS NOT FROM HUSBAND, but instead from a complete stranger that Princess had emailed earlier that day to schedule an event. (This made the email make perfect sense.) YES. Okay, so this event opened the floodgates of embarrassing moments that Princess has been holding back, and like, she is freaking out at her CONSISTENT NEED TO BE AN IDIOT.


Here's how the very nice man responded, by the way:
 

Woof. Princess felt really guilty and ate stuff.
 
There was another incident when Princess was working at a publication, and a PR Rep emailed her about some kind of band that was supposed to prevent bra back fat. Princess thought it was hilarious, and forwarded it to a coworker, a friend who found humor in such things, and added the very articulate sentence “u need this.” Unfortunately, Princess DID NOT hit forward, but rather hit “reply,” and, well, she smashed her head into the wall repeatedly and then wrote a spastic apology that she truly, truly meant.

Another time, just as Princess was saying the sentence, “Mimes are so weird and gross,” a mime pulled up her dress in front of EVERYONE. EVERY. ONE. A. MIME, YES, MIME. MIME!!!!

On Princess’ birthday this year, she was really tired from excessive nesting, so when people would tell her Happy Birthday, she would say it back like “Oh, yes, Happy Birthday to you, too!” Then people would stare, and Princess would just keep smiling like, “Let me figure out what just happened.”

Or what about when Princess’ likeness appeared in the profile picture of a running group’s Facebook page, and she looked like this:

Yes, the smiling idiot is Princess. She's the worst.

Or what about this past weekend when Princess started texting her best friend’s new mother-in-law, and then stopped to say something to someone else, and then looked down at her phone, and realized she’d hit the “talk to text” button and that it COMPLETELY MISUNDERSTOOD her and typed up the following:
 

I MEAN IS THIS REAL LIFE??? Luckily Princess caught it in time and deleted it, but she still compulsively told her bestie’s mother-in-law all about it because she has this problem where she TALKS TOO MUCH (don’t act like you haven’t noticed), and that might have been weird, but Princess isn’t sure. And then she blogged about it? Like, why?

The thing is, even though Princess is currently embarrassing herself via this blog post, she can’t even tell you the most idiotic things she’s done because they’re SO EMBARASSING that she doesn’t even know how to laugh about them yet. Instead she just does exercises like this to shake all the stupid out:
 

IS PRINCESS THE LONE IDIOT ON THIS PLANET? ARE THERE MORE PEOPLE OUT THERE LIKE HER??? If so, let’s get lunch or start a support group with lots of chips.


6 comments:

  1. Hahahahahahahahahha. What other embarrassing things have you done???? :)
    love, sister

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  2. Oh how we could talk for HOURS about all the stupid things I have done. Like pulling up to a gas station at a very busy intersection. Trying to get gas and getting VERY mad that it wouldn't work. I decided to leave and upon getting in my car I see the gas station is closed (boarded up too) and I just made a fool of myself right there near a busy intersection. I've also got frustrated w/ a slow driver in front of me, honked at them and then realized it was my mother-in-law in her new car. Yikes!!!
    I could go on and on but will stop now :)

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  3. Im not going into all the idiotic things I do each week...I don't think there is enough space. I thoroughly enjoyed reading about yours though! :)

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  4. hahahaha!!! funny!!

    well if it makes you feel any better I locked my keys in my car while i was filling up on gas (at the cheapest gas station in town around mid-day on a Sunday). Yeah, people were driving by laughing as the very unsuccessful sherriff's deputy tried to unlock my door. Yep, I was in my heels and dress too...standing waiting for 45 minutes... and I'm blonde... so that definitely made everyone laugh more :(

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  5. Caroline- I am seriously laughing out loud! You were made for this blogging world. Thanks for making it enjoyable.

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