Monday, August 6, 2012

word problems

Mood: Vociferous
Nail Color: Deborah Lippmann A Whiter Shade of Pale
Day’s Inspiration: “...fearfully and wonderfully made.” Psalm 139:14

Princess is not a mathematician. In fact, it’s even embarrassing that Princess’ name would appear in the same sentence as the word “mathematician.” But, oops, it’s already happened. Twice. Nevertheless, Princess has found herself in the middle of many word problems lately, much to the chagrin of 13-year-old Princess, who frequently murmured snarky things like, “Like I’m ever going to use this information. Ewskies, what a waste.” The word problems are listed below for your left-brained pleasure, and to prove that 13-year-old Princess was dead wrong. (Good thing 25-year-old Princess is never wrong.) Print them off and you’ll have your very own Princess math worksheet, which is quite the rarity.
  1. Princess is attending a movie, and she gets thirsty during movies. She refuses to pay $6 for a large Diet Coke when they are a third of the price at Sonic. She plans to smuggle as many Route 44 drinks (that’s 44 ounces of bliss) into her purse, which will hold approximately 1.5 gallons of liquid. How many Route 44 Sonic drinks can Princess smuggle successfully?
  2. Princess needs to be at work at 7:15. Her new house is 20 minutes away from work, but Princess will need a full 30 minutes if she is planning to run by Starbucks. Her alarm goes off at 6 a.m. and 6:15 a.m., and she needs 25 minutes, barring any complications, to grab breakfast and reassemble herself in a way that won’t scare small children. This morning, Princess is excessively groggy. How many times can she hit the 7-minute snooze and still be on time for work, coffee in hand?
  3. Princess’ arms are 20 inches long, not including her hands, and she can lift about 25 pounds laterally before she feels like she’s about to die. (Princess heard you judge her, and she hates you.) She has seventeen bags of groceries in her car, each with a handle 1 inch wide and weighing about 3 pounds. Without using magical powers, how many bags can she bring inside at once without collapsing into a heap of glittery exhaustion?
  4. Princess needs to eat every four hours or she will yell at you, particularly if you are being judgmental about her lack of arm strength or if you breathe loudly or smell weird. She had a protein drink at 7 a.m., and snacked on a few almonds at 10:30. She has a meeting from 11 a.m. to 12 p.m. and from 1 to 3 p.m. When does she need to eat in order for all smelly folks to remain un-stabbed?
  5. Princess’ husband gives her a disparaging stare if she spends more than $30 at a clothing store. Princess reeeeeally loves this fab pair of pants that make her legs look 6 feet long. They are marked down 20% from the original price of $60. Additionally, Princess has a $10 off coupon, and can receive 15% off the markdown price with her teacher discount. When Princess achieves her dream to have legs that are 6 feet long (duh, she’s buying the pants), will Princess receive a reproachful stare or an approving one?
Each question is worth 20 points, and answers are due Wednesday. Bonus points if a Gelly Roll pen is used. #90sgirlproblems
On a side note, Princess would like to point out that though she has word problems, she does not have problems with words. She likes them and wishes them no ill will.

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