Sunday, June 24, 2012

things princess likes but also doesn't like

Mood: Fizzy
Nail Color: Sinful Colors 24/7 layered over OPI Mod About You
Day’s Inspiration: “For God is not a God of disorder, but of peace.” 1 Corin. 14:33

  1. Choosing a nail polish color: Princess LOVES nail polish probably more than she can say, and her collection is getting excessive. But choosing her color is a painful process. Every time she feels like the decision could be life altering. It’s probably because she is superstitious of the polish names—she feels guilty every time she wears Essie Looking for Love, because, well, that’s like husband cheating’s third cousin twice removed, and Princess is not comfortable with this.
  2. Rambling: Princess is a writing teacher, and run-on sentences give her the hives. Yet her brain runs off of Diet Coke and anxiety, so she regularly thinks in run-on sentences and invents words. Hypocritically, she practically vomits run-on sentences all over this blog (sorry for the visual), yet despises this in the papers her students turn in. Oh well. She edits the crap out of other stuff she writes, but since this blog was born out of a desire for ridiculousness, she gives herself a free pass here. Then she pats herself on the back and says, “I know the rules, so I can break them.” (Thank goodness, because she just used the phrase “edit the crap out of stuff.”)
  3. Slap bracelets: Has a more distracting item ever been created? Princess had one last week and fiddled with it so much she went near insane, yet she’s drawn to them like a moth to the flame (internal rhyme and simile in one sentence, wazzzzaaaap).
  4. Pink: Princess didn’t want to be the girl that likes pink in excess, but oops, she is. She already wrote about it. Ugh. Since that time she has purchased these amazing shoes, which are so tall she almost died seven different times this morning, a pair of neon pink shorts, and a few friendship bracelets. (Don’t judge. #90sgirlprobs)
  5. Redundancy: Read #4.
  6. Really talented people: Have you heard of Lennon and Maisy? Omg. It’s like, be mediocre like everyone else, okay, because we can’t handle our jealousy! But also, don’t, because Princess needs fascinating things on youtube, and you sound like angels. And did you know they spent two hours tonight calling their fans? Ugh, they are NICE, too! Let's not even talk about how pretty they are. Princess loves them.
  7. Hashtags when they’re not on Twitter: It’s funny if you have low standards for your humor (see #4, then see #5—if you’re follow directions this could take a while), but borders on annoying or stupid if you don’t know what you’re doing. Woof.
  8. Lists. And redundancy. See #4.

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