Wednesday, April 11, 2012

school

The warning on the back of Princess' classroom door...
If Princess had a dollar for every strange thing she heard her students say, she would have many dollars. Here's a random collection of fifteen, for now:
  1. That Diet Coke is gonna make your babies come out weird.
  2. You look like a hipster lumberjack today!
  3. Don't worry, she says everyone looks like a lumberjack.
  4. Bailey said you're pregnant because you were in a bad mood yesterday.
  5. You have the calves of a champion.
  6. Remember when I ate that pickle in your room? You went CRAAAAZZAAY.
  7. When are you gonna give your brother my number?
  8. Hey STACEY!/Time to go to STACEY'S class./Oh look, it's STACEY. (One month half of Princess' students inexplicably called her Stacey. That situation is still under investigation. UrbanDictionary.com did not provide any assistance, but Princess still has at least one solid theory. Any insight is appreciated.)
  9. How come you are happy on Mondays and mad on Fridays?
  10. Uh-oh, are you in a Friday mood?
  11. I saw you running yesterday. You looked tired.
  12. You don't even need to tell someone when they're acting stupid because your face tells them.
  13. You smell like bubble gum.
  14. Can I call you Sparkle Face?
  15. Hey, Sparkle Face!

If Princess had a dollar for every strange thing she has said to her students, she would have many dollars. Here's a random collection of fifteen, for now:
  1. I'm sorry I put a Post-It on your face.
  2. You're thirteen, thus my sister is not interested.
  3. ARE YOU EATING A PICKLE IN MY CLASSROOM?!?!
  4. My shoes are not cougar shoes, they are cheetah shoes. Let's make sure we don't mix up those animals, okay?
  5. You didn't get the demerits because I'm in a bad mood. You got the demerits because you threw a chicken nugget across the room and got honey mustard on someone's shirt.
  6. Will it make you feel better to wear the cupcake headband?
  7. Subordinate clauses are like Sister Wives.
  8. The Capybara retweeted me!
  9. "Doodoo drawers" is alliteration.
  10. I can hear the ocean in my koozie.
  11. Don't tell anyone I fell down.
  12. Group work teaches us to hate people.
  13. DO NOT EAT VIENNA SAUSAGES IN MY CLASSROOM!!!
  14. If you scream, "I VOLUNTEER AS TRIBUTE" in the theater before Hunger Games and get it on video, I'll waive the late points.
  15. No, you may not call me Sparkle Face.

3 comments:

  1. 1) hilarious. best 30 sentences I have heard all week.
    2) I will most likely copy your "Be Nice...or Leave" sign.

    ReplyDelete
  2. "Don't tell anyone i fell down" made me ROFL. Don't tell anyone.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Hahahaha I was going to comment on the "Don't tell anyone I fell down" line and tell you how much it made me laugh, but the six-month-ago Adeline already did. That means it really is funny.

    ReplyDelete