Thursday, April 26, 2012

photogenetically challenged

Mood: Snarky
Nail Color: OPI Lucky Lucky Lavendar
Day’s Inspiration: “You are the God who sees me." Genesis 16:13

When did everyone get artsy and fabulously photogenic? No really, when? Because Princess MISSED THE MEMO. She is still smiling like a troll, and she doesn’t know what to do with her hands. Everyone else has poses like Beyonce and Lea Michele, and somehow has amazingly artistic, professional pics on their Facebook profiles. I mean, THE BAR IS TOO HIGH. Princess cannot reach the bar anymore than she can reach the #@&% light in the pantry, and frankly, it’s making her furrow her eyebrows more than usual, and now they are tired. Tired eyebrows are the pits, people, the pits. #firstworldprobs

Two weeks ago, Princess sang in a friend’s wedding, and during all the wedding hubbub, Princess looked over her pictures and realized all of her friends had perfect makeup and poses, and Princess was just standing there like, “Yay! The institution let me out for good behavior! Is my eye twitching?” (It was. Ewskies.) She immediately bought some foundation, but honestly, she hasn’t touched it since. Because, ugh, the effort of smearing the makeup on her face is more than Princess can handle at whatever a.m. She is a helpless troll with theoretical arms too short to reach her face. But really, she has always liked trolls (the creepo, bug-eyed dolls, not the internet terrorists) for some inexplicable reason. Princess and trolls are kindred spirits.

A List of Things Trolls and Princess Have in Common:
1.     Tall, untamed hair (previously referenced here)
2.     Look stupid in a picture (Like... go look at the picture again.)
3.     A sparkling personality (yet totally humble about it)
4.     Square feet better suited for the shoe box than the shoe itself
5.     Various magical powers
6.     Crazed smile
7.     An affinity for bright colors, not crossing bridges, and jazz hands
8.     General trollishness
9.     An awesome website full of hours of fun
10.   A bejeweled belly that can be rubbed for good luck.
      (Eh, that one is not 100% true or even 10% true, but Princess likes lists of 10. Seriously, do not rub her belly, no matter what Tosh.O tells you. Also don’t say belly. EVER. Please disregard the three times Princess said it. Reread #10 and replace that word with rufus, which is hencefore the name for belly rufus.)

1 comment:

  1. Lori recently informed me that you had a blog and it has taken me awhile to finally pop on over.. Love it! Thanks for a laugh =)

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