Monday, March 26, 2012

Eastering

Princess LOVES Easter. The music at church, the family time, the pastels, the flashlight egg hunts after dark, the nausea after eating fourteen Jell-O eggs… it makes her heart happy.

Princess goes all out at Easter, unless she’s stressed, and then she goes shopping. This is exactly what happened last year when she was too panicked to make her Easter dress, a fabulous but strenuous precedence that she had set two years prior when she made this:
The outfit was made complete with matching nail polish (Essie Looking for Love), a matching tie for husband Captain Cuddlecups (this is a big deal as he never allows this), and cake pops made to look like bunnies. (Yes, the ears are tic-tacs.) It was a glorious day full of bunny-eating.

The next year, Princess was feeling less into lavender and more into a coral-orange kind of thing, so she made this:
The outfit was made complete with giant bow, pockets, and earrings made from awesome buttons. It was again a glorious day full of spinning.

Last year, no dress was made. Princess totally flaked like an IDIOT, and she is still mad at herself. (She really should have known better than to start such a dangerous tradition. Please remind her of this when she has children and decides to scrapbook their every move.) Really, she had no excuse, as the two previous years she had been working fulltime and completing her masters, yet she still cranked out some Easter cheer. Last minute, she bought this skirt on sale at Ann Taylor Loft, and it was fine, but nothing to bunny hop over, especially when there's paleness and frizziness to consider.


This year she refuses to be lazy, cheerless Princess! This year she will restore the former glory of Easter outfittedness! Alas, she went to the fabric store today and panicked majorly because of the OPTIONS. Truly, options are Princess' worst nightmare, worse than the baby-headed machine spider from Toy Story. Just the question, “Waffle fries or sweet potato fries?” will send Princess’ brain screeching to a halt for a solid ten minutes. It’s called decision paralysis, and it’s brought on by thinking things like WHAT IF I MAKE THE WRONG DECISION AND IT CHANGES THE COURSE OF MY LIFE AND I END UP WITH NO TEETH AND LIVING UNDER A BRIDGE. Illogical? Maybe, but nevertheless, Princess’ perfectionism cannot cope. She insists on ALWAYS making the right decision even if she’s just ordering at Chick-Fil-A. It’s exhausting, and no one likes her.

Here are Princess’ options for the high-waisted pencil skirt she envisions wearing with a bright skinny belt. HELP HER or else she will end up with a crazy multi-print dress a la Mondo, but let’s get real, it will not turn out cute like his.

Bonus: An old picture of Captain Cuddlecups' one fat foot.

4 comments:

  1. Hahahahahha. "It’s exhausting, and no one likes her." High five, sister.

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  2. Ah! I commented at 8:13! C'est mon anniversaire!

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  3. Ah! What happened to the Captain's foot?

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  4. 1. Thank you sister. Princess literally returned the high five, but no one saw, so we're in the clear. Bon anniversaire!

    2. Captain is totally fine! He hurt it a long time ago, but whenever Princess rediscovers that picture, she laughs hysterically because she is a cold-hearted snake. She admires you for being sweet and sympathetic, and she's going to try to be more like you.

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