Wednesday, February 22, 2012

invasion

Princess'  beautiful planner, which she loves with a dangerous kind of love.
Princess only has like, three major concerns in life and they are:
  1. Finding scriptural evidence that supports the idea that working out is a waste of time. (1 Timothy 4:8—you’re welcome.)
  2. Avoiding the Nazis.
  3. NOT LETTING ANYONE WRITE IN HER PLANNER.
Sister disregards #3 every chance she gets. She likes to leave Princess little weird notes that say things like, “June 3: Adeline is pretty.” (Yes, her name is Adeline, and no, she is not pretty. Okay, just kidding, she is, but DO NOT ENCOURAGE THIS.) Magically, last Friday night, Princess’ was scheduled to “Tell sister that you love her and want to be her.” Obviously, Princess was not pleased, as a planner intrusion always leaves her feeling vulnerable and messy.
Sister invades Princess' planner in cold blood.
Nevertheless, Princess was a good sister and checked the box. According to Franklin Covey, checking boxes = endorphins, and thanks to 1 Timothy 4:8, Princess must get endorphins using alternative methods.

But Princess’ concern has been heightened since that Friday box-checking, because it seems Sister has now moved past the planner and has begun blaspheming using Princess’ new typewriter. (Yes, isn’t Princess quite the hipster? According to this awesome article, she sooooo is. Her awesome Granddaddy gave her the typewriter on Sunday, and she is currently brainstorming how in the world she is going to lift it from the kitchen table, because obviously she does not have arm muscles due to the scriptural truths in 1 Timothy 4:8.)

Here is the evidence:
Sister ruthlessly compromises Princess' hipster typewriter.
Whatever. Princess doesn’t know what to do about it. And when she doesn’t know what to do, she googles really modest clothing so she can giggle at words like "culotte." Modest is hottest ladies, except for when it’s not.

Enjoy:

Wednesday, February 15, 2012

Princess' Bestie Wish List

In no particular order…
  1. Sophia Grace Rationale: British, easily excited, wears tutus. Princess identifies with all of these things (okay fine, two out of three) and feels they would bond. Also Sophia has provided several hours of YouTube entertainment for Princess and she is quite grateful.
  2. Stacey London Rationale: Best outfit advice ever
  3. Kristen Wiig Rationale: Tiny arms, Bjork, “I forgot about her face,” “Help me I’m poor”… Let’s face it—she’s funnier than… EVERYONE and Princess to likes laugh and could probably use a good ab workout.
  4. Adel Rationale: Sing Princess to sleep, Bestie.
  5. Emma Stone Rationale: So normal, so funny, THE HELP IS THE BEST BOOK/MOVIE  EVS!
  6. Zooey Deschanel Rationale: Big hair, cool singer, fun clothes = YES
  7. Zooey Deschanel’s character Jess on New Girl Rationale: Big hair, fun clothes, weird teacher = YES
  8. Kristen Bell Rationale: Duh.
  9. Oscar PR Girl Rationale: Um, look at her tumblr. Can Princess borrow her life for a second? She will give it back, pinky promise.
  10. You Rationale: J
Purposely not on the list:
  •   Abbie Lee Miller (Princess cannot handle mean-dance-teacher-induced anxiety.)
  •   Anne Frank (Ugh, Princess doesn't want to talk about it.)
  •   Nicki Minaj (The Grammys were TERRIFYING.)