EEEEEE!! Princess is ecstatic. She came home from a rather strange trip to Party City, flipped on the telly, and then all her dreams came true. She saw "Mobbed"—a show of people dancing and singing in the street like they were straight out of Enchanted or Hairspray, except this was REAL LIFE. REAL LIFE DANCING AND SINGING!!! In the street! With lights and fountains bursting forth during the climactic part of the song! Obvi, this is Princess’ ultimate fancy for two reasons in particular:
1. If you spent any time at all in Princess’ head, you would realize how difficult it is for her to not burst into barrel turns and grand jeté en tournant when Pandora selects particularly fab music during a run. The only thing that stops her is the fact that her students regularly report to her when they see her running and she just doesn’t need to give them more material with which to mock her. (Surely they have enough, since earlier this week she helped them understand dependent and independent clauses by comparing them to Sister Wives and Cody, respectively. She can explain this theory in detail some other time.)
2. Even though she’s partially bitter that her husband had Babs’ windows illegally tinted, she is also grateful for it because she can perform Bruno Mars and Wicked to her heart’s content and the cars next to her at red lights aren’t able to cast judgmental/terrified glares. Last Wednesday she performed her best-ever rendition of “No Good Deed Goes Unpunished” and it was a glorious moment.
Whatev, so back to the telly. The people are dancing and singing and smiling in complete bliss, and they’re leading this girl through all the dancing and she’s crying and laughing because it’s so fun and fantastic, and as it turns out, her BF comes out at the end of the song and dance parade and PROPOSES to her and Princess literally had tears rolling down her cheeks because it was so exhilarating, and then she began to write in gigantic sentences that made her inner OCD writing teacher cringe, (as this blog often does) but Princess told that depressing fool, “SHUT UP, YOU, THIS IS FABULOUSNESS THAT DEMANDS EXTRAVAGANT SENTENCES WITH MANY, MANY WORDS AND EXCLAMATION POINTS!!!!!!!!!!!!!”
The bad thing is immediately after this proposal, the guy is like, “Let’s get married right now.” And 10 million smiling dancers are staring at this girl and I know what she’s thinking: “I have mascara running down my face, I’m in complete shock, I never had a chance to shop for a wedding dress with my mom and my MOH like I’ve always wanted to, and you want to make me get married RIGHT NOW or else I’ll make you look stupid in front of 10 million people??” The PRESSURE was so INTENSE. Princess felt panicked and sweaty-palmed, so she took a shower immediately to wash away the bad, bad feeling, and sang Hello Dolly song to woo herself back into the elated state she was in before the happy musical number turned scary. So, she has no idea whether they got married right then or not, but knowing simply isn’t worth the risk, because Princess feels sure that either way, the awesome proposal was probably ruined. Reality TV, you are one tricky devil.