Wednesday, December 8, 2010

princess is demented

Princess has discovered that she needs therapy. She NEVER watches scary movies because they traumatize her, yet she somehow finds ways to make life scary all on her own. She has compiled a list:

1. Princess was once having a fake fight with her sister and found herself shouting, “I am going to cut you up into 365 pieces and mail a piece to our parents every day!” Sister and Princess stared at each other in horrified shock. Princess has no idea how she thought of that.

2. In another fake fight with Sister, Princess yelled, “I am going to use a vacuum to suck out all of your internal organs and then make you eat them!” Princess scared herself, but also thought this was very creative.

3. Princess doesn’t like to drive to her friend Melissa’s house, or really any place in the country, because she thinks she sees children staring at her in her peripheral vision. She believes this stems from the terrifying old black and white photos that she has seen of her great-(great?)-grandparents.

4. Princess, like, HATES Amelia Earhart. Seriously, WHERE IS SHE?!? Someone find her so Princess can stop thinking about it.

5. Princess once worked at an elementary school where there were animals painted all over the walls. She told a kid named Ivory that they came alive at night and that the bunny just winked at her. Ivory believed her and told him mom.

6. Princess likes to pretend that the places she lives are haunted but ends up scaring herself. Currently, she tells visitors that the girl in the painting in the dining room crawls out of the painting and watches people while they’re sleeping. Princess no longer goes into the dining room.

7. Princess and her sorority sisters pretended that the ghost of their sorority’s founder lived in one of the unused rooms on their floor. They knocked on her door before going to formals and such to see if she wanted to come. She never came, and Princess and sisters decided that she was really rude.

8. When students ask why one of the ceiling tiles is missing in her classroom, Princess tells them a homeless man lives up there. Now Princess thinks this every time she sees a missing ceiling tile. It hasn’t been pleasant.

The end.