Wednesday, August 25, 2010

the princess craves originality.

The Princess craves originality! Alas, she lives in Suburbia, and Suburbia is jammed packed with cookie-cutter houses and chain restaurants. This is why she experiences a mild depression when Husband offers to take her on a date and he suggests Red Lobster or Chili’s. Unfortunately, several times Husband has confused her mild depression for snobbery and seems to thinks Princess needs expensive restaurants to be happy. Mais, no! Princess simply wants to add to her collection of memories, and when one eats at Chili’s, that experience is likely to blend in with all the other meals at Chili’s, most of which involve her eating so many chips that she can barely participate in conversation because the internal crunching sound blocks out all external noise. This is not a happy thought (see previous post about eating feelings). Consider the following:
  1. Once Princess was low on cash, but found it NECESSARY to have Chick-fil-A. To solve this conundrum, Princess enlisted Sister and Brother and devised a plan to hunt down enough quarters to buy each sibling a sandwich. This involved many borderline embarrassing tasks, including, but not limited to, a very thorough scanning of the Chick-fil-A parking lot (Princess seems to remember not showering before this experience, so she likely looked homeless). The Princess and Siblings successfully paid for three sandwiches in all quarters and a few dimes, and the register person did not even mind. Princess and Siblings felt it was a very satisfying, hilarious, and bonding experience, one which they regularly recount when they are tired from their other antics (like choreographing dances to the Glee soundtracks and quoting That Thing You Do).
  2. Once Princess and Husband (who was Boyfriend at the time) went to the drive-in movies (Danny and pre-makeover Sandy style, NOT Kenickie and Rizzo style). Husband/Boyfriend (who totally shouldn’t have done this, but don’t judge him because he is usually very honest) made Princess hide in the floorboards with a $5 Little Caesar’s Hot and Ready. Princess nearly hyperventilated (militant conscience), but was grateful for the adventure.
  3. Once Princess and Sister could not decide where to eat. (They both suffer from crippling indecision which hinders their daily lives.) Princess and Sister decided to have a smorgasbord of items from many restaurants. The menu consisted of curly fries from Arby’s, strawberry milkshakes from McDonald’s, and at least six other dollar menu items from various restaurants that Princess has somehow forgotten because God is good and he tells our minds to block out certain traumatizing experiences. Princess and Sister felt TERRIBLE after the smorgasbord (which they ate at home, in the floor while watching Gilmore Girls). Nevertheless, Princess and Sister had the best time ever and plan to repeat the experience.
Hooray for cheap, ridiculous experiences!

Behold, Princess stuffing her face with mozzarella sticks whilst donning her prom dress. She also ate cheddar peppers. It was classy.

1 comment:

  1. I was not aware that such a blog existed. I find this to be a useful place to indulge my need for fantastic Captain Cuddlecup stories ("C Squared" as I like to call him).

    Sergeant Snickerdoodle and wife will try to keep in mind your need for originality when choosing the next dining destination.