Friday, September 4, 2009

if ye can't say anything nice, saith the princess, cram a cupcake in your mouth.

Princess TF is frequently confused for a 15-year-old. (She is not 15.) At one point this was mildly humorous, but now it makes her contemplate creative methods of torture. (Current fave: Locking offender in a dark room and forcing offender to listen to Reba McIntyre's Fancy until offender's ears bleed.) Princess tries to compensate for this by wearing authoritative-sounding shoes (heels) and acting important. Yet the second she puts on her Rainbows, she hears conversations like this one, which happened yesterday:

Woman 1: You look just like a little girl!
Princess TF: Stare.
Woman 2: Oh she always looks like that! Laugh laugh.
Woman 3: Yes, I always think you're a high schooler!
Princess TF: Glare. Awkward silence.
Woman 2: Well you'll be grateful for it someday!
Woman 1: So true.
Princess TF: Okay. Bye.

Princess glanced in the mirror after this exchange. She saw angry, red, cracked eyes and Edward Scissorhands hair. Princess then wished she had scissorhands so that people would think twice before making demeaning comments. And also because she can never find a good pair of scissors when she needs them.

Sometimes Princess gives herself over to the darkside and decides to act the way she looks. Her recent birthday was a perfect excuse for this. Hoorah!

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